EXPLICIT WARNING/TRIGGER WARNING: this video is part of a series of videos for my website Born in Hell. Please watch at your own discretion. If the topics of abuse of any kind bother you, please do not watch. I detailed the years 7 to 8 growing up abused and the details are graphic. We were living in "Hell House" during this time. My brother Chess was murdered, my brother Rob went into a depression, my dad thought the authorities were going to charge him with the murder because he had been abusing his family from the time my parents were married. My dad was still attempting suicide, still threatening to kill the family in a familicide situation. My mom's mental health went downhill at this time due to depression from Chess's murder. My brothers Rob and Howard were doing massive amounts of drugs at this time and my dad was still marital raping my mom. I became a convenient "punching bag" for my mother at this time. My mom was beating me with heavy objects as well as belts and her fists. I have detailed much of this abuse in my poems which are mainly written from my inner child at this age, 7 to 11 years old. These were the years we lived in Hell House and the abuse I suffered during this time scarred my mind, my heart, my brain, my body and my spirituality. I was still trying to be a little girl, playing with my barbies and trying to have fun while my mom beat me every chance she got. I began to shut down at this time and realised that I was actually nothing to my parents but a punching bag, and to my siblings I was a bad kid, a nuisance who needed to be beaten on. I became the "black sheep" scapegoat that my siblings used in order that my mom's abuse would be directed at me instead of them. My siblings rarely stepped in to help me and were actually responsible for many of the beatings I received from my parents.
All of the shows I did on Blog Talk Radio are in a sequence and topically, I was progressing through issues and material in order. You can look at the lists under the AUDIO BLOG tab to view the progression of each of my audio series of shows if you want to listen to them in order. My "Guest" shows and "My Book Readings" can be viewed by clicking the links below under "Categories".
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I want to thank everyone for tuning in and supporting my work through the years! As always I continue to place a warning on my shows dealing with Child Abuse Prevention and Adult Survivor Issues, please LISTEN AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION! IF YOU ARE UNDER AGE AND OR SENSITIVE TO THE TOPIC AND ISSUES SURROUNDING CHILD ABUSE OF ANY TYPE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, SEXUAL EXPLOITATION AND ANY RELATED TOPICS TO VIOLENCE, PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS SHOW. WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN CHOICES. MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR YOURSELF. THANK YOU! Human rights advocate, child rights advocate! Promoter of human rights for men, women, and children. I am not a professional counselor or a professional legal adviser and I have no professional certificates in these fields. This is not a professional show. The information and resources on these shows is from the web, and the accuracy is only as accurate as the originator's material was. Please make the right decision for yourself and listen at your own discretion. Minors and under age children must have parental/adult consent to listen to my shows in order that they stay protected at all times. Please have an adult listen to the material first so they can help you with the decision as to whether you should be listening to my shows or not depending on age appropriateness. Child Safety and Protection is my first priority. Thank you!